Definition of Happiness

From an article by Bruce DiMarsico, developer of The Option Method,

Happiness is being glad for who you are;

• liking that you want what you want, liking that you don’t like what you don’t like,
• liking that you change your mind whenever you think that’s best,
• liking that you don’t change your mind until you really change your mind,
• liking that you don’t like not knowing how to have what you want,
• liking that you don’t like being mistaken,
• liking that you feel just the way you like to feel about everything you do, and
• liking that you feel just the way you like to feel about everything that happens.

As always, I welcome your comments.

Wow!

What do you really, really, really want in your life? Not what you think you should want, but what do you want so much that it brings a big smile to your face just thinking about it? What would make you go "Wow!" ?

Write it down. Post it in a comment if you want to.

"The great danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."
~~Michelangelo

Sailing

Another quote to ponder.....

You can't change the way the wind blows (life) but you can change the way you set your sails (philosophy)
-J. Rohn

The Secret controversy

Hopefully you have seen the movie or read the book The Secret. In the last several weeks, since the discussion of The Secret on the Larry King and Oprah shows, lots of bloggers and commentators have jumped on the bandwagon against the ideas expressed in the movie. But the word continues to spread.

Yes, the concepts presented in The Secret are simple, but not easy. You do have to work at them. But if you decide that this belief system might work for you, keep the following quote in mind.

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident"
~~Arthur Schopenhauer

If you haven't purchased the DVD yet, you can get it here. You can get the book here.

Keep it Simple, and Get What You Want

Many years ago I attended an afternoon talk by Mark Victor Hansen, one of the co-authors of Chicken Soup For The Soul. He suggested that the best strategy to use in listening to a speaker is not necessarily to try to absorb everything, but to listen for the ideas that struck a chord with who you are at the moment, the "aha!" moments.

My most recent aha! came in listening to James Ray, one of the teachers from The Secret, on the Oprah Show. He said the secret to getting what you want consists of three steps, Intention, Attention and Action.

INTENTION - Decide what you want. Write it down. "I Intend......." Remember to always state your INTENTION in positive terms.

ATTENTION - Focus on your INTENTION. Visualize it as an accomplished fact. Feel the emotion impact of already having it in your life. Read about it. Write about it. Look at pictures of it. Pay ATTENTION to it.

ACTION - When opportunities present themselves in the flow of your life to take ACTION toward your INTENTION, seize the moment and take ACTION.

Keep it simple. Life was not meant to be a struggle.

By the way, do yourself and your loved ones a favor and buy The Secret, DVD or book. You might just experience a few aha's yourself.

Marie has a new blog

Hey, Marie here.

I've got a new blog! It's geared toward providing you with information on how to develop and use your intuition, along with any other helpful items I feel like sharing. I'll still be posting here on occasion as well.

It's called: "Madame Marie Says..." Check it out and pass it along to anyone you think might enjoy it!

Imagination

Quote for the day:

"Live out of your imagination, not your history."
~~Stephen Covey

Relaxation Takes Work

As a hypnotherapist and HypnoCoach I am always stressing the importance of relaxation in making changes in your behavior and managing stress. But the ability to relax is a skill that takes work and practice.

David Allen has a great piece about this in his latest Productivity Principles Newsletter:

"Many systems related to motion - especially the human ones - function more productively when they are relaxed rather than when they are inappropriately stressed and tight. But for most people tension accrues much more automatically than relaxation does. Not many people experience decreasing pressure as their day goes on - it tends to mount progressively all by itself. When moving parts are too constrained, without flexibility, things can break, or at least ossify over time. Patterns in our behavior were created for a purpose, but they don't normally extinguish themselves when that purpose has been fulfilled. We must consciously unplug ourselves from those forms the moment they don't serve us, and direct our attention to activities that relieve strain. To let go of tensions that are no longer necessary takes focused concentration. It's a dynamic, not passive, process. "

Take a Nap!

A large research study released today shows that study participants who napped at least three times weekly for about half an hour had a 37 percent lower risk of dying from heart attacks or other heart problems than those who did not nap.

Read the article here.

Free Personal Development Books

I just came across a new site that will be like a treasure trove for anyone seriously interested in personal development. www.PersonalDevelopmentBooks.net offers you one FREE personal development book a week just for signing up. The first book they send you, Charles Haanel's The Master Key System, is a classic. I once owned a hard back copy of this book and really regret giving it away (if I had known then what I know now).

This site is really worth a visit.

Think You Can't Be Hypnotized?

I was first hypnotized at the age of 18, by a psychology grad student doing a study. He used a tape to induce hypnosis in us. I remember being very relaxed and at the same time fascinated by the whole process.

Sometimes I hear people say they can't be hypnotized. Well, that's true and it's also false. No one can hypnotize you, they can only induce hypnotic states with your permission. The old movies with the swinging watch are just that: movies, stories to enhance the drama and play upon our fears of being controlled by an evil madman.

The fact of the matter is, you are hypnotized every time you focus on a TV show. Ever get irritated when a great movie is ending, and the station seems to interrupt it every 5 minutes, just as it's getting exciting?

They do that on purpose, not only because they know you are a captive audience and must sit through the commercials to see the rest of your program, but because when you are focused on something so intently, it is the perfect time for them to zap you with their message! In the time it takes you to hit the mute button on the remote, they have still gotten an image or phrase into your head just at a time when your mind is wide open and receptive.

But now that you know this, you can up your level of awareness. And you can also be assured that hypnosis is completely safe, because a clinically trained hypnotherapist goes through rigorous training, both in the art of hypnosis and in keeping within strict ethical guidelines.

Those shows you see where a person is made to bark like a dog when he hears a bell? Notice the speaker usually has volunteers from the audience, who are expecting to be made to do something silly. If you sat in the audience and didn't volunteer, chances are he wouldn't be able to hypnotize you. In fact, I've been in group hypnosis sessions before, and felt my mind wander and walked away without receiving any benefit. Other people thought it was great, but I just wasn't receptive at the time. Only you can know when you're ready to make a change in your life.

If you are considering getting help for your issues from a hypnotherapist, check to see if he or she belongs to a professional organization, like the National Guild of Hypnotists. Ask them where they got their education, and if they attend courses on a regular basis to upgrade their skills. As with any professional, whether it's a massage therapist, a counselor, or a doctor, remember, you are the customer. You should feel comfortable with them, and have all of your questions answered to your satisfaction.

Above all, remember, a trained hypnotherapist is there to assist you in reaching brain wave states that allow you to change your life for the better. They are trained in proper ways to give suggestions so that your subconscious will work with you and not against you.

If you have more questions about hypnosis and how it can benefit your life, send Robert a note and ask him. He's always open to answering questions. While you're at it, ask him what he's been doing this past week and how hypnosis and visualization has helped him lately!

I know it's helped me for sure. And now, I need to keep up with my trip to France visualization! Today I'm going to make a French-style mushroom soup and serve it with a fresh baguette!

Au revoir for now!

Be the Change

I have a poster near my desk, with the quote:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~~ Mohandas Ghandi

We are inundated every day with things pulling at us from the outside. We lean into those things that pull at us, believing we must pay attention to them. How do we attend to our own needs and the needs of our world at the same time?

I have a little trick that I'd like to share with you, to help bring you into focus and remain calm and centered:

Simply state in your mind what it is that you are doing right now three times.

For instance, when you are driving to work and thinking about what you have to do, say to yourself:

"I am driving my car, I am driving my car, I am driving my car."

That will pull you back from the thoughts of the day ahead, and most importantly, it will keep you from projecting future thoughts and expectations, or worrying about a tiff at breakfast. You are divesting yourself of that negative energy by stating what you are doing right now.

This doesn't mean you don't have to plan for the future: it means you are acknowledging and honor the present, and as they say, the present is a gift.

When you are calm and centered, you can confidently be the change you wish to be in the world, and your attitude will spread to others around you.

Try it and let me know how it works for you!

Robert will be posting again soon, and telling you his own story of his recent experiences and how hypnosis and visualization has improved his approach to life. I am blessed to be married to such a relaxed, non-judgmental, and open-minded person.

Best of luck to you all today, and remember to ask yourself, "what am I doing right now?"

Managing Stress

One of the phrases we hear a lot about: stress management. All fine and well when you're at home relaxing, or working on an exciting project. You get into your comfort zone and nothing bothers you!

A little different story when you're tired after a long day at work, and you're not done yet: there's still food to buy, a meal to prepare, maybe a spouse and children to attend to, and you still haven't decompressed from work yet!

One tip that I read a long time ago was to use the time standing in line to do something else; we've all heard this, but let's take it a little further. I used to stand impatiently, getting irritated at people who all seemed to rudely take their time unloading their cart, or someone behind me bumping me with their cart, when all I wanted to do was get out of the store and go home!

Being a writer as well as an intuitive Spiritual Reader, I often choose to simply watch people and make up stories in my head about them. I look at the way they're dressed, and try to guess what they do for a living. I look at the food they're buying and wonder if they are married or single (that's the result of reading Sherlock Holmes a lot as a child!). If I feel it's appropriate, I'll engage someone in conversation.

The other day, the woman in front of me was reading a magazine as she waited, and the belt was empty. She was so engrossed in what she was reading that she didn't notice right away; when she did, she quickly apologized to me and put the magazine away.

"No problem," I replied. She'd been using her own method for keeping herself occupied while waiting, after all.

The next time you are in a hurry and feeling stressed: stop. Stop and realize that all the people around you are most likely in the same boat you are. They want to go home and eat, to relax with their loved ones, that's why the store is so crowded! Are you going to add to their stress level and yours by exhibiting an irritated attitude? Is it going to improve the situation? Can you make the line move faster by impatiently tapping your foot or making moves to unload your groceries the minute a space becomes clear on the belt? Of course not.

You are being given the gift of time. Consider this: when you walk in the door at home, there most likely will be someone or something demanding your immediate attention, even if it's the bags of perishable groceries needing to be put away. Where else do you get a five-minute break where you must stop and wait? If you've been going all day long, I suggest you use your "wait times" as an enforced breaktime. Fantasize about something pleasant (like a trip to the South of France?). Shut off the cellphone and the PDA. Close your eyes for a few minutes and breathe, giving thanks to the Universe for the ability to buy food for yourself and your family.

By practicing this technique in one small area of your life, you will often find that it causes a ripple affect in other areas of your life. People will unconsciously notice a change in you, and thus, their response to you will be different. Instead of being part of the chaos of busy and hurried stressed out people, you will be the calm center, and people will gravitate toward you.

I've shared one of my former pet peeves and how I learned to deal with it. What areas of your life irritate you the most, and what ways can you think of to change your reaction to these situations?

Creative Goal Setting

Greetings! I'm Robert's wife and co-conspirator in the game of life. He's away for a few days, so I'll be updating the Hypnocoaching Blog in his absence. One of the benefits of being married to someone so upbeat and positive is that he encourages me in all of my endeavors.

Sometimes, however... I can be my own worst enemy when it comes to achieving my goals. How about you?

For instance, have you ever had a goal in the past that you've given up on? Maybe it's the extra 10 pounds that never seems to budge, or the exotic vacation you've always wanted to take. So many times I've heard people say, "I'll never lose it," or "gee, I'd love to go on a nice vacation like that, but it won't happen in my lifetime with all the obligations I have right now."

I'm no weight-loss guru, so let's talk about a nice vacation instead.

My destination of choice is here, the South of France. I have some French ancestry, and it's a place I've always wanted to see. Of course, being in Maine in the winter might have something to do with it.

If I want to really go there, however, instead of dreaming about it, I think I'll start by printing out a picture to look at every day. Maybe another day I'll take a trip to the bookstore and buy a travel guide. Next, I'll practice French with someone who's fluent, or take an evening course to brush up on my French conversation skills. I could also get some travel brochures, attend a wine-tasting, or take a class in French cooking.

The one thing I'm not going to do is worry about the cost or the way I'm going to get there. I'm not even going to worry about the fact that a month-long trip the Cote d'Azur may seem out of the realm of possibility right now. I say "may," because I've seen some pretty amazing things happen using the power of my mind. All it takes is being open to the possibility that you really can achieve amazing once you start becoming your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy.

I'll keep you updated on my progress, and feel free to use the comment section to join in with your own personal goal! We can all keep each other on track, because it's normal to have self-doubts from time to time, no matter what your goal. And vacation buddies sounds so much more appealing than diet buddies, doesn't it?

Au revoir for now!